Living the Dream
by RubyFiamma
Summary: [SouRin] [Smut] Sousuke messes up his shoulder again and Rin is there to comfort him. Generally pwp.


**Living the Dream**

* * *

><p>Sousuke's shoulder aches and the near scalding hot water does little to soothe the pain. He's an idiot, he knows without a certain redhead having to tell him this, but determination is something that's bred into him and he just doesn't seem to know when to quit.<p>

He grits his teeth through the blinding white when he moves his shoulder just slightly and it jars him with enough force to make him nauseous. It makes him angry, makes him wish for a time machine so he can go back and do things differently. So he can _not _fuck up his shoulder and still be able to swim.

With a disgruntled sigh, Sousuke turns off the shower and steps out into the steam filled bathroom. He grabs for the first towel, scrubs it across his chest and torso awkwardly with his left hand and then drapes the towel over his head. Sousuke then glares at the other towel hanging on the back of the bathroom door. It's going to be an interesting, if not excruciating feat to attempt wrapping the towel around his lower half.

He decides against the towel for the time being and wanders out into the bedroom, where he hopes to find his _Ice __Heat _freeze gel. After looking through the dresser drawers and dresser, he still hasn't found it, so Sousuke marches back to the bathroom and rifles through the medicine cabinet. It isn't there either.

The only other place he can think it would be is in the living room. He hasn't had to use the gel recently, so he isn't surprised he doesn't remember the last place he had it. Scanning the room with a scowl pulling his features, he finally finds the gel on a shelf in the bookcase. Sousuke rolls his eyes and trudges over to get the freeze gel, grateful the heat in the apartment is on and keeping it toasty warm during this unseasonably cold winter.

He sits down on the armchair, still not completely dry from his shower and grumbles to himself about the unfairness world when he hears the scrape of keys against the front door lock. His stomach does flip flops, not sure if he should be excited or concerned because Rin isn't supposed to be home until _next _week, when he finishes the swim season.

Sousuke panics because he thinks Rin might have been pulled from an event or didn't it make it through and he's half way up to greet him when Rin steps through the door.

Sousuke instantly gauges Rin for a sign that he's upset in any way, but all he sees is Rin's jaw go slack, his mouth gaping open and his eyes wide like saucers. He witnesses the vermilion hue that splashes Rin's face before he realises he's naked and Rin's just walked in on that.

He opens his mouth to explain, half chuckling out of embarrassment and half stuttering over words he can't seem to form when Rin suddenly looks furious. He drops the grocery store bags at the door and marches over to Sousuke, who's now really confused as to why Rin's face has that look.

"Hey, I uh- just got out of the shower and I was - wait, what are you doing home?" he asks as Rin gets closer.

"Your _shoulder__,_" is what Rin growls when he invades Sousuke's space. His teeth pull in his bottom lip and Sousuke makes the connection just as Rin looks like he's about to cry. "You stupid _idiot__. _What did you do?"

Sousuke frowns because he'd rather a kiss and embrace and maybe _hey__, __I __missed __you _but he didn't have time to cover up the injury from Rin so know he knows. He wasn't supposed to be here.

"What happened? Why are _you _here?" Sousuke demands.

"Don't change the subject, Sousuke. What did you-"

"It's nothing, Rin. Stop making it a big deal and tell me why-"

"It is a big deal!" Rin shouts and he gets in Sousuke's face, and Sousuke half expects him to be pushed down by the angry Rin since there's nothing he can grab onto in his fit of anger but he doesn't. He just frowns and gets that really sad look again and Sousuke's heart is wrenching.

"Look at that, you dumbass!" Rin cries, gesturing to Sousuke's shoulder.

Sousuke doesn't have to look, he already knows it's noticeably swollen and the surrounding area is red and angry. And outside the initial tender purple swelling, the flesh there is mottled brown and yellow, healing bruising from overexerting his shoulder the week before.

"Rin, I can -"

"Don't," Rin cuts him off, dipping his head out of view. Sousuke lifts his good arm and touches Rin's chin, tipping it up and just like Sousuke suspects there are tears in his eyes.

"Hey, hey. Don't cry, Rin. It's really not as bad as it looks," he says soothingly. Rin's features fade from upset to angry real fast as Sousuke says this and he pulls away, grabbing the jar of freeze gel Sousuke still has in his had.

"Che!" He glares at Sousuke for a minute and Sousuke frowns, he really doesn't want to turn this visit into a fight because Rin's been gone for a long time and his heart aches just as much as his shoulder does when Rin isn't home.

"Sit down," Rin demands and it's stern, a true order. Sousuke starts for a second before complying, he forgets that Rin has that side to him to, one he's rarely shown unless they're competing but even still, his tone is never this cold.

"Rin," Sousuke begins as he sits back in the chair. "Don't be upset. I-"

"I said don't," Rin interjects again and he walks behind the chair and stops there.

Sousuke hears him unscrewing the cap to the jar of _Ice __Heat _and then his nostrils are invaded with the minty and clove-like medicinal smell of the gel. It's not a second later that he feels the cool sensation of the the gel against his shoulder, Rin's touch nearly weightless. He smooths the gel over the muscles in the crook of his neck to the knob of his shoulder, massaging as he goes.

Sousuke's head tips back against the chair and he hisses, the heat spreading through his skin and muscles, searing heat so hot it brings tears to his eyes. But then, the sudden relief of the throbbing ache in his shoulder is just as tear worthy.

Rin's other hand rests on Sousuke's good shoulder and he begins massaging that too, a little harder than his right side. He almost groans with the feeling, and it's not the medicinal relief that he's relishing, it's Rin's hands on his skin, sliding over the ribs of muscle, gripping them and kneading them and Sousuke realises he hasn't missed Rin so much as he does now. This is a tease, life's cruel reality because Rin will have to go back to Australia soon and he'll miss out on this and all of Rin's touches, his angry voice and crying face. It makes him wish so _bad _that he didn't fuck up his shoulder and that he could be right there with Rin, sharing his dream alongside him.

"Feel good?" Rin asks, no venom in his tone. He seems to have calmed down some and Sousuke begins to think massages are just as therapeutic for the one giving the massage.

"Mm, y-yeah," Sousuke groans as Rin works over a knot in the back of his neck. He soon feels Rin's lips there, mouthing soft kisses on his neck and then shoulders, and just Rin's mouth alone is better than any anesthetic he's ever had.

"Rin, I'm... sorry. I just... I just can't _stand _to see Nanase get to be on that stage with you and I can't be-"

"Sousuke," warns Rin, pulling at his good shoulder. "Stop making excuses, I won't hear it. If you're putting yourself through all this pain and damaging your shoulder even more because of your jealously towards Haru, then you're a bigger idiot than I thought."

"It's not like that," Sousuke says. He wants to shout because he isn't _jealous _of Nanase, he's _envious__. _He wishes he could be there with Rin, that dream will never go away no matter how much he tries to convince himself he's happy with swimming his last and third year in Samezuka with Rin. But he can't shout, because Rin's hands are soothing out every kink he has in his shoulders and it feels so _good _to have Rin's hands on him. It's calming and easy and Sousuke really doesn't want to fight. He doesn't want to talk about his shoulder at _all__._

"I just... Coaching isn't enough for me," Sousuke finally admits and the movement on his shoulders still.

"What do you think is going to happen when your ligaments tear beyond repair, Sousuke?" Rin's voice is low, trembling. "Pushing yourself like that isn't good-"

"I know that."

"And when you fuck up your rotator cuff worse than it already is then-"

"I know. Rin- I don't want to talk about this right now. Can't I just be happy your home?"

"_Are_ you happy I'm home?"

Sousuke starts, whips his head around to face Rin but he does it too fast and pulls the muscles in his shoulder, causing him to hiss in pain. Rin rushes to his aid, flushed and worried and Sousuke really doesn't like seeing that look on Rin's face especially when he's the one causing it.

"Of course... I'm happy you're home," Sousuke grits through the pain. Rin's back to massaging his shoulders, this time from the front, on his knees in front of the armchair. He eyes Sousuke's injured shoulder and then shifts to his face, his garnet eyes falling on Sousuke's lips.

"It doesn't seem you want me here, seeing as how your acting really fucking stupid about this shoulder thing and trying to hide it from me," Rin says softly but there's so much anguish in his tone that it feels like Sousuke's heart has just been impaled.

Sousuke reaches for Rin's cheek and dips low, low enough that he can press his lips against Rin's trembling ones. He cups Rin's cheek for a moment, then the back of his neck when Rin stretches out and into the kiss. "I'm sorry," Sousuke murmurs against Rin's lips as he meshes them together once more. "I want you here. I _always _want you here."

It's then he feels wetness on Rin's cheek and Sousuke smooths it out with his thumb, leans back in the chair and pulls Rin with him, spreading his legs for Rin to fit between.

"S-Sousuke," Rin breathes and rests his hands on Sousuke's thighs. He flushes, Sousuke can see the colour rise high in his cheeks and his eyes shimmer with more than just tears. There's longing and lust and love and Sousuke just wishes to have those eyes on him _all_ the time. He knows Rin loves swimming and his friends and Sousuke doesn't feel second best but it's hard not to be envious of all the people in Rin's life that get to share his greatest experiences with him and he's rarely able to do the same.

He kisses Rin again, it's hard pressed and desperate and when Rin responds, it's with the same kind of urgency. Sousuke can feel the fabric of his jacket brush across the sensitive flesh of his cock and he elicits a gasp in Rin's open mouth. Rin's hands slide up his thighs slowly and Sousuke's cock by now is straining with anticipation, aching for Rin's touch.

Rin's still on his knees when he cups Sousuke's sac, fondles it and splays his fingers along Sousuke's shaft. It makes him groan, Rin's fingers are warm but his hand is warmer when it closes around his length and starts stroking.

"Rin, take off," Sousuke says between kisses, "your jacket." His shoulder still hurts, there isn't much he can do with it at all, and he would have loved the pleasure of peeling the clothes off Rin but he thinks ordering him to do it might be more fun.

Rin pulls back, his eyes already half lidded and colour high on his cheeks and he strips out of his jacket, then out of his shirt. He leans into Sousuke again and Sousuke wraps his good arm around Rin's waist, pulling him right into his lap. The heat from the skin on skin contact rushes Sousuke, makes him feel so dizzy and needy for Rin's touch, and the way Rin curls his fingers in his hair and the way he grinds down in his lap have Sousuke gasping in Rin's mouth far more times than he's able to kiss it.

The feel of Rin's jeans is nowhere near desirable, it's only what Sousuke imagines is underneath, rubbing against him and then he's panting in between kisses for Rin to take his pants off, and Rin doesn't hesitate to oblige.

He stands in front of Sousuke, long leaned and in all that sinewy glory, ivory skin flushed blush pink and his hair falling in loose strands that frame his face and Sousuke loses his breath with just how beautiful Rin really is.

Rin smirks, just a crooked one with his teeth pulling in the corner of his bottom lip as he drops to his knees between Sousuke's legs. He kisses in between Sousuke's thighs and nips at the insides. Rin's tongue is liquid heat as it trails along the seams of muscle in his inner thighs and moves up along his groin and then Rin's tongue is on his shaft, in long strokes and languid, like he enjoys the salt-flat taste.

"Rin..." It's nothing short of a pleasurable whisper that slips off Sousuke's lips as his eyes slide shut and Rin takes him into his mouth. His fingers curl and flex against the muscles in Sousuke's thighs as his mouth moves up and down his cock, tongue lapping over the head as he goes. Sousuke feels like he's drowning, a slow decent into pure ecstasy and he's not sure why this time the feel of Rin's tongue against is skin is so erotic, and just the brush of Rin's hair against his bare skin has heat coiling tight in his gut and he's so embarrassed to think that he'd likely come just from Rin's hot, wet mouth stroking his cock.

He bucks into Rin's mouth so that the tip of his cock is brushing the back of Rin's throat and he tangles his fingers in the red locks, gripping at the roots as he groans out, "Fuck... Missed this, Rin."

Rin hums around his cock, grazes his teeth along the sensitive flesh and causes Sousuke to shudder. He can feel his impending climax but he doesn't want it to stop so soon; he's desperate for Rin's heat and all he can do to stop himself is tug Rin's head back by his hair, gently and with warning. Rin looks up with understanding and wipes his spit sheen lips with the back of his hand. He turns into Sousuke's arm, the one that grips his hair, and peppers a trail of kisses up to his wrist. Rin's hand falls over Sousuke's and he's moving it out of his hair until he can kiss the palm of Sousuke's hand. Without saying a word, Rin shifts his eyes from Sousuke's face and his tongue wraps around two of Sousuke's fingers. He closes his mouth and sucks them like he did Sousuke's cock, getting them wet and ready for something Sousuke's eagerly anticipating.

When Rin finally pulls away, Sousuke's breath is bated and his fingers are coated finely with enough wetness to hopefully make due. He straddles Sousuke, silent and grinning and slots their mouths together. Sousuke has barely enough time to think, Rin's aggressive approach and silent treatment has him reeling, and he's left breathless often enough that he's panting without much effort. He finally remembers what he's supposed to be doing when Rin grinds down on his cock, backs out into Sousuke's idle hand but it's nearly lost when Rin lashes his tongue across the seam of his bottom lip.

Sousuke trails his fingers down Rin's tailbone and pauses, not quite sure if there's enough lubrication on his fingers to not hurt Rin but when he feels the shiver course through the redhead's body just as he breaches the entrance, his thoughts are derailed on a hitch of Rin's breath and then he's pushing a finger in, steady and slow.

Rin groans and grinds down again, forgetting himself for a minute. He sets his forehead against Sousuke's good shoulder and bites the stretch of muscle there when Sousuke's pushes up to the second knuckle.

Rin is warm and tight and Sousuke can only do so much before Rin's whimpers and jerky movements are a silent plea for anything more, so he pushes in the second finger and hisses when Rin's teeth sink further into his flesh. He fingers Rin while they kiss, sloppy and needy and Rin's teeth keep dragging along Sousuke's lip ans his tongue keeps brushing the roof of his mouth and Sousuke feels like he's damn near lost his mind. He can't seem to think about anything other than how much he's missed Rin and just how good he feels and they're not even fucking yet.

"S-Sousuke," Rin finally whines, hot against his neck, "M-more, one more."

Sousuke inhales, ready to say something along the lines like _I __don't __want __to __hurt __you__, _but when Rin tips his head up and his hair falls from his flushed face, the debauched look of him his enough to comply. Rin's lips are wet and shiny, bruised red like ripe berries that taste just as sweet. His hair is matted and tangled and there's red and soft purple marks on his neck and shoulders from Sousuke's mouth.

Sousuke utters something like a guttural growl and decisive hum as he lines up a third finger and pushes through the tight muscle but not without resistance. Rin's back arches and Sousuke lays kisses along his jaw coax him into relaxing.

"Rin," he gasps when Rin desperately backs down on his fingers. He doesn't want to hurt him, he doesn't want Rin to be in any kind of pain, but Rin seem to doesn't care and before Sousuke can say another word, he's fucking himself on Sousuke's fingers, eyes shuttered and he tilts his head back, exposing the long, desirable curve of his neck. Sousuke can't help himself and he drags his tongue along his adams apple, closing his mouth around it and kneading his teeth in the flesh, fully aware that he's leaving yet another mark on Rin.

Regardless of the reason as to why he's home a week early, Sousuke takes pleasure in the fact that for a little while Rin is here and is all _his__._

"Sou... I'm ready," Rin croaks, his voice shaky and thin.

"Condom-"

"Forget it," Rin cuts in, and Sousuke can't deny him. He's already lifting himself off Sousuke's fingers, hissing with the withdrawal and re-positioning himself to line his ass up with Sousuke's cock.

"Rin-" but Sousuke's protest is lost in a garble of pleasure when the tip of his cock enters Rin. This time it's Sousuke that hisses, in sync with Rin's because Rin is tight and it's painful with barely any lube and bareback at that. There's been enough preparation to work it maybe, and Rin grits his teeth through it as he sinks down on Sousuke's cock and all Sousuke can do is grip Rin's hip so hard he knows he's leaving bruises in Rin's pale skin.

There are tears in his eyes and a few have begun to roll down Rin's cheeks and Sousuke surges forward to lick them off his face, salty and sweet with the taste of Rin's skin. Rin's hand finds its way into Sousuke's hair and he clutches it tight, crying out when he's finally seated.

"You okay?" whispers Sousuke.

Rin presses his lips to Sousuke's and there's no desperation there like there had been, it's soft and to Sousuke it feels somewhat bittersweet but he nods through the kiss and begins to move.

Sousuke holds Rin's hip steady, not being able to do much else with his other arm, but Rin has one hand gripping Sousuke's good shoulder and the other behind him, holding Sousuke's thigh to balance himself out while he fucks himself on Sousuke's cock. His back is arched and head tipped back and he uses those well trained leg muscles to continuously brace himself while he rides Sousuke, moaning loudly as he goes.

It feels almost impersonal, Sousuke thinks as he watches Rin with his bottom lip trapped in between his teeth. He feels Rin, hot inside like a furnace and clenching around his cock but he can't see Rin's face, he can't kiss Rin and that isn't something Sousuke's okay with.

He watches the flex of the muscles in Rin's thighs, the tightening of his abdomen, and his mouth nearly waters with the way Rin's skin stretches delicately with each movement. And then that's it, Sousuke can't take the distance between them even if it's minute.

He wraps his arm around Rin's waist and uses all of his strength to hoist the two of them out of the chair. Rin isn't light by any means but the rigorous bicep and tricep exercises he's used to pay off for something. The pull and ache in his hamstrings is less then desirable but its worth it when Rin scrabbles out of surprise and wraps himself around Sousuke, forgetting about his sore shoulder for the moment too.

"S-Sousuke! What the hell!"

"I can't see your face," Sousuke says simply and he takes a few steps to the sofa while he's still inside Rin. He hasn't quite thought this through and he kind of topples over Rin inelegantly, Rin letting out an "_oomph__!_" when his back hits the wide cushions and his forced rush of breath falls on Sousuke's chest.

"Sorry," Sousuke mutters, offering a haphazard shrug in apology. He likes this now, this position. He can see Rin's face, cheeks stained vermilion and his eyes wide and sparkling as he stares up at him.

"You... You idiot, your _shoulder_," Rin growls, rolling his hips. It's an invitation for Sousuke to move and he takes it, pulling out slowly and inching his way back in teasingly.

"Is that what you - _this_ is all about?" Sousuke asks smugly, hooking one of Rin's legs over his shoulder.

Rin smirks and he grinds into Sousuke's movement. "Thought you missed this."

"I do," Sousuke says, moving so slow it's nearly excruciating. "But I miss seeing your face more."

"And here I thought I was the - _ah!_ - ro-romantic."

"You are. My shoulder is fine, it doesn't even hurt right now," Sousuke says honestly when he hilts and leans in to kiss Rin. "Let's just do it like this."

And finally Rin's tough act shatters and he nods, wrapping his arms around Sousuke's neck and lacing his fingers through Sousuke's hair. "Fuck me, Sousuke," he breathes and that's all the permission Sousuke needs to actually start moving faster than the teasingly glacial pace.

The position they're in on the sofa is awkward for his shoulder and there's still a dull ache there but most of the pain has bled out, lost in the way Rin feels and the way Rin sounds. Whatever discomfort he had been feeling earlier has melted away by the warmth spreading through Sousuke as he thrusts in and out of Rin, watching as he arches into him and rocks his hips in concert, moaning Sousuke's name over and over, crying out when Sousuke hits the angle right.

And Sousuke can feel it, the mounting pleasure ballooning under his rib cage and this time he doesn't care if he comes before Rin, though he'd like it better if they came together, but sometimes things don't always work out that way.

Rin's mouth drops open and there's nothing but dry breaths and whimpers coming from him now and he knows Rin is close. He's lost focus and his eyes are squeezed shut, his hair fanned out on the pillow cushion around him like a ruby halo.

"Rin... You're so beautiful, Rin," Sousuke murmurs, leaning in and burying his face in the crook of Rin's neck. He thrusts erratically now, groaning into Rin's skin and Rin's blunt fingernails rake down his back and grip his ass, pushing Sousuke deeper and deeper.

"F-fuck, Sousuke," Rin chokes. His hand slides to his cock and he starts stroking, his fingers brushing Sousuke's stomach and just that simple touch on Sousuke's sensitive skin sends him over the edge. He grunts and spills into Rin, and it's seconds after that Rin comes too, crying out.

Sousuke stills, gasping for air and expecting the pain to return in his shoulder to return but it doesn't. He relaxes against Rin, steadies his breath and he can feel Rin start to breathe normally too. He's not the one to usually cry buy he almost does when Rin softly kisses his injured shoulder a few times and nuzzles his face into Sousuke's chest.

"Sousuke... I don't care what the reason is, you have to take better care of yourself when I'm not here," he says quietly and Sousuke can hear the waver in his voice.

He pulls back and causes Rin to wince and hiss with the withdrawal. He doesn't know what else to say other than he's sorry. Before he can say anything, Rin is propping himself up on his elbows and glaring at him while he bites at his swollen mouth.

"You're never going to be able to swim with me if you keep making your shoulder worse. Even your not stupid enough to believe that."

Sousuke frowns, he's sticky and hungry and doesn't want to fight with Rin. It's been months since he's touched him, kissed him. He'd rather take a bath with Rin and curl up on the sofa and watch movies with him; talk about Australia and watch how animated Rin gets when he talks about competing. He _knows _he'll never be able to swim alongside Rin like that, he's abandoned that dream a long time ago.

"I know," Sousuke says, kissing the inside of Rin's knee. "I'm sorry. I just... don't like feeling so useless-"

Rin sits up, taking his leg off Sousuke's shoulder. The colour in his cheeks has begun to fade and Sousuke no longer sees the threat of tears brimming in his eyes.

"Che. You're not useless, Sousuke. Brainless maybe, but not useless," Rin says with a smirk. "Come, let's shower and I'll fix up your shoulder."

He crawls into Sousuke's lap and kisses him, long and languidly and these are the moments that make Sousuke miss Rin the most. The moments where he doesn't care about his shoulder or swimming or anything else. He's thought about moving out to Australia to be with Rin, but he's nervous and too afraid to be a distraction to him. What Sousuke wants is Rin to live his dream, easy and free and happily and sure the long distance is harder, but if that's what it takes for him to succeed, it's worth it for Sousuke.

But then Rin rests his head against Sousuke's forehead and heaves a disheartening sigh. "I _miss you_, Sousuke."

The tone of voice is heartbreaking and it makes Sousuke hold Rin tighter, kiss him a little harder, because he misses Rin too, more than Rin could ever imagine.

"I know... I miss you too."

He's on Sousuke's mind _all_ the time and after going so far to chase him, it's hard to let him go again. But Sousuke understands it's not just for his sake. _Everything_ he does is for Rin. And it isn't just because he made a promise to him, it's not just because he loves Rin.

It's because being with Rin is Sousuke's _only _dream.


End file.
